Stuck in the Middle....

We are the Hecks..... Being stuck in the Middle is our life.

So if you are familiar with the show The Middle you will understand everything I am about to say. If you aren't, well you need to be.  Watch the show.  Regardless most will relate.

I was lying in bed last night, listening to my sick husband snore, my mind racing.  We are in a tough spot again.  I say again, b/c without fail, this time of year always hits us hard.  We pray for change, we pray for advancement, and yet we stay stuck right here, in the middle.  I find myself full of anxiety, worry, questions, guilt (b/c there are those with less of course, so I shouldn't worry! In case you didn't get that memo) and plain old panic.

You see, being stuck in the middle is hard, not gonna lie. You aren't exactly "poor." You definitely aren't rich!  It's when you say you are broke and you mean, literally, we are broke.  Not I might have to dig into my savings broke, but the what IS this thing you call savings? type of broke. It's tough.   But, I've learned what you find in the middle is something money cannot buy.

You learn to laugh when the sink falls through, and then high five your husband when he mends it with plumbers tape and some elbow grease.  You value those $5.00 pizzas like it ain't nobody's business.  Your kids learn what it means to be humble.  They watch you struggle TOGETHER.  They watch you laugh and cry, always TOGETHER.   No, they may not be able to participate in athletics or dance classes etc, but they participate in us.  They participate in THIS.  They are along with us on this crazy wild ride.

I am grateful for children that want to be with me, that laugh with me, that annoy the crap out of me. I am grateful for a husband that is my best friend.   Many days, he is the calm to my storm .  Sometimes I want to shake him and say, "what do you mean it will all work out??"  Yet, if he were like me, we'd live in a constant panic.  That's just who I am.  If I were rich I'd be panicking that I wasn't spending our money wisely enough.   My Joshua is the kind of man that when I call him and say, "hey guess what, the fridge just died,"  He says, "I will figure it out" and he always does.  He is the man that sends me texts to let me know he's been praying for our family throughout the day.

I am grateful that EVEN IF certain parts of our home may or may not be held together with super glue at the moment, it is also bound by love.  LOVE lives in every room of this little home.  It is there with us on "family tv night", as we all laugh together at the silly shows.  It is there with us when we pass in the hall and stop for a quick hug.  It is there when my oldest, who isn't as affectionate as his siblings, hugs me from behind and says, "love you ma"  It is there when we are lounging about the living room.  I often times reach across with my foot to touch Josh's, silently letting him know we are in this together.

Yes being stuck in the middle is hard, but it is also a pretty okay place to be.  Could we use a few more digits in our bank account? Of course!  Do I hope we get there? You betcha! Will I miss these days? Maybe not so much the constant struggle, but the victories we've shared together, those days will be missed.  Those memories will be cherished.  Some families crumble in the middle.  They fight over their struggles.  I thank God and should thank Him more often than I do, that we are a family that isn't defined by our struggles or victories.  We are a separate entity all together.  We just love, and that's how it should be.

Will I go into panic mode again? I can say without a doubt, I most certainly will.   My husband will remind me that God is in control and that it will be okay.

This is my life, stuck in the middle with my best friend, panicked and yet always grateful.

brown hair and blue eyes...

This face.   I prayed for this girl for as long as I can remember.  I even went so far as to pray that God would give her brown hair and blue eyes, if it wasn't too much to ask.  I prayed that she would be strong and confident and loving.  I prayed that she would be healthy and happy.  God, being the awesome Father that He is, heard my prayers, even the silliest request of brown hair and blue eyes, and answered them all with a yes.

Someday I will look back at all of these pictures and I will remember the sweet smell of all of my children after a bath, the sound of their tiny voices, the touch of their hands on my own, and I will thank God for Ethan, Abram, Annabelle,  and for my camera.   How else could we make time stand still if not for photographs?

Why I do this!

So I've had this blog set up for some time now and rarely do I post an update.  I'm a slacker, what can I say?  I don't fancy myself a writer and I typically have no great words of wisdom to share with the world.  On top of that, I'm pretty much Jason Voorhees when it comes to grammar. Yep, I said it.  I suck at the English language and I'm a homeschooling mom! Thank God for text books and answer keys, lol!

Anyway, I've been doing some thinking lately and thought I would share a little about myself and my goals as a "photographer."  That word sounds so serious, so grown up.  I'm not sure if I even consider myself deserving of a title, but non the less, photography is a great passion of mine.  So, I've compiled a little list of Q&A's about myself and why I even attempt doing this with the bazillion and one competitors in Union County alone. :)

1.  Do I have the top of the line equipment?

No, I do not.  I'm not gonna lie and say I do.  Is what I have nice? Of course it is! The reason I do not own a 3000.00 camera is b/c I don't charge enough to purchase a 3000.00 camera.  I am working my way up slowly.

2. So why don't I charge more?

Well, first of all I started this as a hobby b/c I tend to be a lover of the arts. My dream was to attend art school, but never quite made it.  While I enjoy capturing images of kids, families, pets, I also love roaming my back yard in search of some interesting new creature to photograph.   Secondly, when I decided to be brave and began photographing people,  I didn't do it with riches and glory in mind.  I KNOW what it is like to be unable to afford family pictures.  If it weren't for the generosity of some friends I would not have maternity pictures or newborn pictures myself! If you can afford a $200-$300 session photographer I say go for it!  They will have the $3000.00 camera, lenses, props, backdrops etc that I cannot afford.  If you happen to be like myself and desperately want to have memories of your kids and family you can look back on, but cannot rationalize spending so much when you need new tires, or have a gigantic power bill that needs paying, then I'm your girl.  AND THIRDLY, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY  I do not charge more b/c God placed it on my heart that this should be a talent that I use to bless others.  Honestly, no puffed up chest, balloon head going on here.  God keeps me in my place.  As soon as I think, "well I need to start charging x amount of money so we will quit struggling," I get knocked back down.   The money I make from any of you is to put gas in my car.  To buy the CDR's I save your images too.  To buy milk and diapers, but definitely not to get rich.

3. "Well $45.00-$75.00 sure seems like a lot of many to me for 45mins of work!"  But is it REALLY 45mins of work??

Let's break it down.  Yes, a typical session of your child or family will cost you anywhere from $45-75.00 when you use me.  This will take around 45min to an hour tops.  What you may not realize, it doesn't stop there.  I typically spend 4-8 hours editing your images over the course of a few days.  I pay to ship your Cd's to you, or if you choose digital downloads, I pay a fee each month to offer this service.  So by the end of the process, beginning to end, I'm probably losing money!  :)   IF YOU ARE A PERSON WHO CAN AFFORD MORE, KEEP THIS IN MIND WHEN YOU PAY YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER.  IF THEY CHARGE YOU 300.00, WHEN YOU BREAK IT DOWN WITH TOTAL TIME, PRINT CREDITS, OVERHEAD FOR EQUIPMENT, PROPS, ETC, IT MAKES SENSE.


4. Who is my favorite subject to photograph?  (moving on to less serious questions.)

I love babies/toddlers.  NOT NEWBORNS; babies that can sit and up.  Why not newborns?  OH I ADORE THEM, don't get me wrong, but they take some major talent, time, and they are a liability.  They are such fragile little creatures and I prefer leaving them to the pros!  Reflections Captured by Samantha McLaughlin (you can find her on Facebook) is amazing at capturing newborn images!  AMAZINGLY talented.  I highly recommend her.  Yes, I have done a couple, but tend to only do them as favors for family and friends.

Back to my answer....in general kids are fun all around!  Their little personalities and expressions kill me.  I chase my own kids around with a camera as much as possible.   BUT my ultimate has to be WEDDINGS!!  I am not equipped to photograph large weddings, candle lit; but small, outdoor weddings are the best.  I love capturing the nervous bride, the raw emotion, the joy, they are my absolute favorite.

IN CONCLUSION

I am just a chick who loves her hobby.  I'm a stay at home mom who home schools, runs herself ragged in circles trying to keep up with life.  Photography for me represents these few moments I get to breath, to slow down, to enjoy what I love.  I don't claim to be the best of the best, or the worst.  I study often and try to continually learn all I can to better myself.  I update my equipment as often as my shoestring budget allows. I may not be able to offer the world much, but what I do offer is my very best.

If you made it through this, thank you for reading!!!  Now back to forgetting I even have a blog to update. hahaha

Megan

Overcash Family Session | 7/6/14

Great family, great session! Thank you Carrie and Robbie for the opportunity to capture your family's time together.

Maternity session | First shared post!

So excited to officially share my blog with everyone! A big thank you to Brianne for her help in design.  She's definitely a God send on so many levels.

Many thanks as well to the beautiful mama in these photos.  She was such a joy to work with, and her family is adorable!

Prom 2014

So much fun with these beautiful young women, before their prom. Thank you ladies for allowing me to share this time with you!